TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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