I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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