i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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