if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
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