Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize