Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Those nachos came to me in a dream
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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