yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
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