It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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