I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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