You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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