i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
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