He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
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