I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
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If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
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I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
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