Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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