last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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