he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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