And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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