Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
