Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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