He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
