Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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