he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Randomize
