My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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