Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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