Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Randomize
