Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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