dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
