I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
