Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
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