i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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