when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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