if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Randomize
