I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
