My brain says no but my pants say off.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
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