Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
