craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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