This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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