And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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