I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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