We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
