Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
