she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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