this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
