I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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