Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Randomize