He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
