they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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