how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
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