Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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