don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
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