Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
