Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
