Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
