i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
