No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
