I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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