Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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