All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
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unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
You're like the curious george of whores
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
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I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
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