I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Randomize
