you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
