I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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