And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Randomize