Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
We're using joints as your birthday candles
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
