Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
