im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
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