My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
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she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
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I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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