he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
