she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
